Adjusting to two kids

8.09.20171:09 PM

The reality of life as a mom to two little girls has fully set in since my mother in law left, I think having some helping me with the girls made life a little easier. But then all that fairy tale living came to an end about a month ago, and with my hubby working too it's been mostly me and the girls during the day so I have had to learn some tricks to help make life a little easier these days.

  • Plan, Plan, Plan! I am still very much working on this but I definitely do a lot better, with two little ones things can easily fall through the cracks so I have made a conscious effort to stay ahead of the ball, making sure to write down plans and organize my day ahead of time so as to not get into a situation where I am forgetting stuff or become stressed out. I even installed the Evernote app on my phone, just to help make my life a little chaotic. I literally write down my to do list for the week on there, shopping list and just a space to write down thoughts that cross my head. It helps to brain dump everything, because if I don't do that best believe it will be forgotten.
  • You can get a lot done during nap time, let's be honest sometimes when the baby naps I kind of take it as time to just seat down and enjoy a few minutes of zen time ( which is so needed every now and then)but if I did that everyday my house would be in shambles lol. So when ever the baby naps sometimes I literally have to force my 4 year old to sleep then, so that way I can get a little bit of laundry done or finally have time to do the dishes that have piled on all day.
  • I have learnt to wake up earlier, my body clock can't sleep past 8 a.m anyway, and with waking up early in order to breastfeed it's really hard for me to go back to sleep and sleep deep anyway, so I use those early hours for me time. I try to get some exercise in first thing in the morning when my husband is still home and while the kids are still on low energy or sleeping. Also it's a time for me to reflect, so even if I don't exercise that day I use that first one or two hours of my day to read my devotional and help start my day off on a good note. I noticed doing that really has helps to calm me and mentally prepare me for whatever the day will throw my way.

Honestly it's not easy having two little children and lately I feel very outnumbered, I truly have no idea how people that have 3, 4 or even 5 little children (you guys are the true MVPs) do it.  It's probably gonna always be nerve wrecking and a constant battle in my head of making sure I am raising them right and being a fair mom and sharing enough time between the baby and my 4 year old. I would really love to know how you mom's out there balance it all?

Big sister update

7.31.20179:44 PM

So Temi is growing and changing each and everyday, we have all had to do some adjustment but I think the person who has had to adjust the most is big sister Simi. She has had to go from being an only child, to taking her big sister role extremely serious and taking extra (actually a little too much) care of her little sister.
Dress: Similar style here; Shoes: here
I was quite worried about a baby coming along and messing up her routine and I will be honest it has been a little bit of a shake up from her norm which was expected but thankfully she has been such a good sport about it and also being my little helper I am so impressed. Here are a few ways I have been able to help transitioning from only child to big sister (and to be honest I am still learning on these things and in no way an expert, but these are some ways that have worked thus far)

  • I involve her in everything or at least on most things. Like being my little helper around the house or when I have to run errands I take her along. Simi easily feels left out, and since Temi has come she is extra whinny and needy (even more than her sister lol) so I help to curb that and mentally check myself to make an effort of doing this everyday.
  • We do something completely for her, whether it be going to the pool or park but just something to entertain her  and keep her busy. This has worked out so far for us because it keeps her busy and by the time we are done she is all tired out which means nap time or early bed time lol
  • I let her be a big sister with boundaries though (lol I know that doesn't really make sense) Simi is a super hyperactive 4 year old and I know she is very excited to have a little sister, but her excitement can get a little out of hand and she has to be reminded her sister is still a baby and she has to be chill with her (a work in progress here lol)

All in all it's been a wonderful experience thus far, and she has definitely shocked me with how she has adjusted to all the changes. Of course every experience is different and each child is different from the next but I would love to hear your experiences as well as what worked or what is working for you all?

Temi: 3 Months Update

7.05.201711:44 AM

Our precious Temi is growing up everyday, and with each day comes new lessons and  changes. This past three months have been an adjustment not even gonna lie, still getting used to our new addition but it's been full of so much loving on her, and cute baby cooing.

She is still quite the eating machine, not so much on the hour her feedings are a little more spread out, now we are at about 2 hrs or 3 hrs stretches and eats about 5 to 8 times per day. She is still being exclusively breastfed as well, and since she is missing no meals, she is growing and looking very healthy.

We are still very much on newborn schedule, but it's been a bit of a difference from the early days. She isn't taking as long of naps  or as much naps through out the day so that allows her to sleep better at night and a little longer stretch. Most nights she is down for sleep at about  9 or 10 P.M and will sleep till about 4 or 5 A.M before waking up to feed again.

This girl loves to play, she loves smiling and even will have a lil baby giggle here and there. She is definitely a social butterfly, and is especially social and vocal in the early morning hours. Always chatting up a storm about something and ready to share a smile with any face she sees. She loves belly tickles, and just recently learnt to make bubbles with her mouth don't get her too excited though or you will get a big drool pool lol.

All in all the last three months have been a fun ride, big sister has also been a  huge helper and her number one playmate. It's so interesting watching her grow up and transform and learn new things each day.

How I style/care for my 4year old's natural hair

6.27.20171:33 PM

Growing up my hair as always been super FULL and super THICK, which is something everyone admires  but I am not a big fan of because doing my hair is such a hassle. When I got pregnant with my first daughter I made a decision that I wasn't going to put any type of chemical in her hair such as a relaxer/perm, I know the amount of damage relaxers did to my hair especially my scalp so I just wanted her hair to flourish and do a lot better than mine. But as God would have it, she has the same exact hair texture as mine from fullness to thickness (it's a pain doing her hair let me tell you). So to avoid her hair breaking, I have had to learn some hair care routines for her hair over the years.

  • Conditioner is our best friend! I make sure to deep condition her hair every week, it gives the hair moisture and makes it easier to comb through (her least fave part lol)
  • LOC Method, when I started my natural hair journey and started researching ways to care for our hair, moisture and moisture retention was major key! And one of the ways I learnt to help is the LOC METHOD (for all you new to natural hair care, that means liquid, oil, cream) I try to use this method especially after deep conditioning while her hair is still wet, I put oil in her hair (using any of my fave either coconut oil, olive oil and the one we are currently using Jamaican Castro oil) then lock in the moisture from the water and oil with any type of cream based hair lotion ( I am a big fan of the shea moisture creams) 
  • Protective styling goes a long way.  In order to prevent breakage we stick to a strong protective styling schedule and not messing with her hair too much, thank God I have learnt how to braid her hair and style it in different ways and also with the help of the internet (Instagram pages) I am able to get fun ideas on ways to style her hair as well.

I will be honest I am no master at this, but these are some things I have learnt over time that work for me. What/how are some ways you all take care of your little ones hair?

Raising Confident Little Girls

6.14.20171:45 PM

A few weeks ago, I was doing my 4 years old hair and she said something very interesting that got me thinking about how I am raising my girls and the changes I need to make moving forward. Anyway back to the story, so while doing her hair on the bottle of the hair creme I was using on her hair is a drawing of a black woman with very curly/full Afro in an  up-do, she looks at the picture and goes "mommy she has ugly hair" I look at the picture and then I look at her and I say what do you mean? She then goes "its not beautiful like Elsa's" I was so confused and honestly wasn't sure what to say in that moment. Yes of course Elsa has beautiful hair I am not disagreeing with her on that but, my shock was more on the fact that she didn't think this black woman's hair depicted beauty or that she felt this pale white character with long blonde hair was more beautiful than the black lady. So when I finally got my thought together I asked her, why she thought the lady in the picture's hair wasn't beautiful like Elsa's, I then made a point to let her know that the lady in the picture had the same type of hair as hers, did she not think her hair was beautiful?

That moment wasn't only a teachable moment for her, but also for me because it got me thinking what am I showing as representation for my girls? What am I teaching them? Your kids learn from not only what you tell them, but also what they see. And we live in a world where thanks to the internet and social media beauty and standards on beauty are all one set standard and I don't want my girls having to live their life thinking there is only one type of beautiful. It's funny when I got pregnant the first time I wanted so badly to have a girl  and to dress her up and do her hair and just have my own life size barbie, but being a parent is obviously more than that but...... being a parent to a girl is extra more than that (lol that's not good English kids). I don't have the tips to raising confident little girls in our social media driven world, and every child is different, but the biggest take away for me from this experience is that I have to be the role model that I want my children to have. What I want my children to learn and see in the world is what I need to depict to them every single day. Society already makes it hard enough to be a girl, as a parent I need to make it just a little easier on them and be ahead of the world in molding them.

My Postpartum Reality

5.23.20178:26 PM

Its been almost two months since Temi has been born (check out her birth story here), Its been quite an adjustment to not only get used to having a newborn around but also just back to being myself. I realize having a baby does a lot to the body not only physically but emotionally and this past two months I have spent time not only getting to know my new baby but also getting back to myself. Like I said in previous post this pregnancy was a lot different this time around than the first time, my body felt that difference the most, after I had my first daughter my snap game was on point but this time around I am learning that its a process. I have heard the saying "it took 9 months to grow this child so it will take time for your body to return to what it was before". After the first month I noticed that my belly stopped going down, I knew that my uterus was done shrinking back to size (cause those awesome cramps were done) Anyway it started to make me worry because I expected my body wasn't gonna bounce back like first baby, but I didn't think I would still be looking 6 months pregnant after the baby was out. So of course I started to google and research the heck out of everything, in my research I learnt about Diastasis Recti. Pretty much what that means, is my abdominal muscle is separated a little more than the usual separation you get from pregnancy and thus is causing the wonderful pooch I have been rocking post baby. Its been a struggle coming to term with how I look right now, and of course along with my wonderful pooch I am still carrying quite a bit of weight and not back to my pre baby weight just yet.

Dress c/o pinkblush
But a couple of weeks ago I decided I was gonna stop being in my feelings about the whole situation, I can't change my body to become what I want it to be overnight so all I can do is get a better outlook on it all. So within the last week I have started to exercise again, nothing too crazy or intense mostly because with Diastasis I can't do anything too extreme. I also decided to start actually dressing up (enough with the sweatpants lol), I still can't quite fit into all my pre-baby clothes but thankfully I have been able to find a few items that I feel comfortable in like this beautiful PinkBlush dress, its very free and airy perfect for this wonderful Texas heat and the off-shoulder is very much on thread which I love.

Pregnancy is one of the most rewarding and beautiful periods in a woman's life honestly, but it does put your body through quite a bit. Sadly we live in world today where women have a baby and the next day they are posting their washboard abs (which is definitely goals lol), and people want to pretend like their lives are perfect and peachy. But the reality is most women have a baby and they probably never see their abs again or they probably never lose that baby weight but that is fine, the most important thing for me during this time is making sure I am mentally intact and I am present for my children and love them the right way than beating myself up because my body doesn't look the way some strangers does a minute after they had their baby last week. I am enjoying this time and respecting that my recovery and body isn't the same as the next.

How Motherhood has molded who I am today

5.14.201712:41 PM

I know most of you have heard the saying, "becoming a mom changes you" I never quite understood what that saying truly meant till I became a mother myself. Everyday I thank God for blessing me with my amazing little girls that get to call me mommy everyday, being a mother is one of the greatest blessings in my life and I can't see my life today without my two little girls in it.

They have thought me how to be confident in myself and sure in my decisions. Prior to being a mom I would say I was "fake" confident, more worried about what others thought than what I thought. But, something about being responsible for other people's lives gives you a new found confidence.

Being a mom has definitely grown and strengthened my relationship with fellow mothers in my life, especially my own mother. Growing up I always thought my mom was just being mean and didn't want me to live my life. Now I am on the other side of the field and I understand why she did the things she did for me, as a parent you want to protect and shield your kids especially in this crazy world we live in today.

Motherhood has definitely impacted my relationships, when you become a mother you are more much more aware of the people you allow in your life, not just because of yourself but you want to be sure these are the right kind of people you want around your children as well.

Being a mom is hard work, and every day is learning and trying to make the right decisions in your life because now your life reflects more than just you but your children too. I am not sure how good of a job I am doing at this whole motherhood thing, but I only pray and hope that I am giving my best at this job every single day.

Wishing all you mama's out there a wonderful mother's day!