Keeping up with the 'gram

SaturdayApril 11, 2015

It's crazy to think how much society has changed in probably the last 5years. Everything has become so social media influenced,  and if you are not showing and living the flashiest ways on Facebook or instagram then you obviously are not doing anything right. The other day, I spent almost 2 hours just chilling on instagram and checking out the page of people that I didn't even know. The sad part of it all is, I sat there comparing what I was doing wrong. Why wasn't I able to go on vacation every month? why aren't I rocking the latest loubs? then it dawned on me my season is different from others.  It's so sad to think our biggest motivation is how many likes we are getting on instagram,  we thrive so much on the fact that if people don't like our pictures then something is wrong with it. But the reality is you don't know what that person had to do to get those red bottoms, or how they afford to go on vacation every month.  At the end of the day, I am healthy, I have food on my table, I have a stable job and I have family and friends that love me and support me. Yes I don't have the biggest house on the block,  or the biggest car. But I would much rather be content with my blessings coming in through the right door, than forcing doors to open that don't have my name on it.

I like you, but.......

ThursdayApril 02, 2015

Have you ever liked a guy, you guys have been hanging out for some months or years, so you hit that point when your mind starts thinking like "oh ok I like him a lot, and he seems to like me too. I mean we talk all day long, we always hang out so he must be ready for the next step". So you being that bold chick you are, you decide to bring it up and profess your love or like. But then you get one of these, "I really do like you, but......."  Wait hold up, but what? Ya I know most people have dealt with this, and the sad part we get that but, and that just continue hanging with this person hoping that but is temporary that's me presently. I feel like my biggest issue is believing and knowing I deserve way more than a "but". I don't know about anyone else out there, but to me settling for a but is more comforting, than going out there putting myself out there again and then you get another but. I was thinking today, just how many buts are my willing to take though before I completely crumble. I think for me, it's easier to know ok you like me enough to chill with me, and I have you as my almost, but atleast I am not gonna be hurt more (which is a total lie). I don't want to b just a but, I want way more but, I am not gonna go out there and risk getting hurt way more when we already got this groove going on. It's definitely working for you, and I am very good at pretending it's working for me as well so win and almost win situation right? NO!!!!! Today, I am choosing not to be no one's but. The way I see it is, if you really like me and think I am so amazing like you just said before that but hit me, then you should be able to make me your for real girlfriend or be willing to buy the damn ring and make me your for real wife. I choose not to settle in the gray area, and I sure as hell ain't giving you the milk, when you haven't put in the work/sweat to milk that cow. Why put in full time work, and only get part time benefits?